Pants

Dear Bald Pedestrian,

I feel the need to draw to your attention something which bothered me, and, since you otherwise seem like a reasonable and thoughful individual (well, you did from my car, anyway), I thought you would want to know.

Your pants were just wrong. Please do not be confused -- you could be English, after all -- I am referring to your trousers, not to your gitch.

It is my humble opinion that men should avoid pleated pants at the best of times. Large men look puffy; thin men look pear-shaped. They're not advisable, regardless of what the racks in Sears may be telling you. That is, of course, merely my humble opinion.

But where this moves from opinion to hard fact is this:

Pleated jeans are never, ever, acceptable. Never.

I thought you should know.