Near Death Experinces and Bad Spelling

After last night's show, a bunch of us, as we are often wont to do, went out for a bit to eat or tasty beverage.

I decided to try the Chicken Pita wrap, which sounded generally good. There was a reference to "tabulae" in the description, but everything else sounded delicious: chicken, tzatziki, feta cheese... Yum. I must admit that I felt like a bit of a loser for not knowing exactly what "tabulae" was. Then I realized that those around me didn't seem to know either.

So I asked the waitress about it and she assured me that everyone likes it or, in her own words, "doesn't even notice that it's there". So I went ahead and decided to take a risk on it. Again, she didn't seem to be able to give me a clear description of it, just that everyone seems to like it or doesn't realize it's there.

So my wrap arrived, and it was filled with chicken, tzatziki, feta cheese ... and onions and tomatoes. I wasn't thrilled, truth be told, but figured that's what I get for trusting in the ambiguous nature of this mysterious "tabulae".

Then I took one more bite.

Or tried to.

I chomped down on something in my sandwich. Something hard. Something wooden.

So I pulled it out.

What had I had almost inadvertantly consumed was a four-inch length of bamboo skewer. FOUR-INCHES of skewer which was apparently overlooked. How does one not notice a four-inch piece of wood in a sandwich?

When the lovely waitress returned (and she was lovely, to be sure), I asked, "What exactly is in tabulae?" which she responded, "It's chopped parsley and stuff."

"Are you sure it doesn't mean onions, tomato, and WOOD?"

Now there are a few things which must be addressed regarding this whole adventure.

1. Waitresses are funny.

Since that what they call "tabulae" (see below) is pretty much onions, tomato, and a pinch of parsley, calling it "chopped parsley and stuff" and completely glossing over the tomato and onion content, is sort of like saying, "I had a lovely rosemary dish last night" when you really mean the chicken.

2. Wood in a sandwich gets less reaction than you'd think.

The waitress returned from the kitchen following my near-fatal bite of the wrap, and reported back that the bamboo skewer is just from the way they cook it. At least it wasn't random. REALLY? The chicken skewer was in my food because the chicken was on it? Thank you for that amazing revelation! I had no idea! Again, she was quite lovely, I just found it a curious report to be given. Also to her credit, she did not charge me for the salad and 1/3 of a wrap I'd eaten following the traumatic experience of unexpected tomato, onion, and tree product.

3. "Tabulae" does not exist.

Well, it does, in that it's Latin for "tablet" but that's about it. Having gone online to investigate further, I've discovered that they really mean "tabbouleh", "tabouleh", or maybe even "tabouli". Yes, there are three variant spellings, none of which are "tabulae". I had been intrigued by the word in the first place, since I desperately wanted to pronounce it in the Latin way, but knew that "tabouli" existed (despite not knowing exactly what it was) and figured that's what they'd meant, which they did. Furthermore, having now looked at what it really is, it's a bit of a misnomer for them to be calling what they put in that sandwich "tabouli", no matter the spelling.

On the upside, chick peas made no appearance in my meal, for a change. Whew!

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All three of you are probably convinced I'm the least dedicated weblogger on the planet, and I'm not saying you'd be wrong. The truth of the matter is that, while I have been very busy lately, it's not quite the same as saying there's been much to write about.

I work.

I do the show.

I go and have iced tea afterwards.

Then I go home and do it again.

Today I slept in.

That's about it.

Still, it's all good.

On a Variety of Subjects

Well, it's been a bit busy as of late, between opening weekend and paperwork, but things are on the upswing once again. Don't get me wrong, I'm still going to be crazy busy, but it'll be more of the good stuff and less ... well ... paperwork.

I have found myself today with a bit of a rough throat. Isn't it funny how sometimes it seems one's body can sometimes seem to say, "Oh, NOW I have time to give in whatever's been waiting on the doorstep"?

In other news, I've found this season of HEROES a bit befuddling. Don't get me wrong, I'm still liking the show, but I've been mildly frustrated by the Maya and whatever-her-brother's-name-is storyline in which they just seem to wander around being hyper-emotional. Tonight's episode was very, very good, though (perhaps partly because they were not involved in any way?) with a few little twists thrown in for good measure. I AM interested in how they will integrate with the other storylines in the end. That's what's great with the show, it keeps one guessing.

That's about all I have to share, other than to say, "How much am I looking forward to seeing Sweeney Todd both on stage AND in the movie theatre?"

Sharing the Joy

This is more funny than it ought to be.

Gun, and the Jumping Thereof

Know what bugs me? No, seriously, have you been paying attention?

Okay, so this is something new. I was visiting the old bank machine (ATM for the Americans out there) and I put the old code in, request some cash, and then our little computerized friend says, "Your transaction is complete. Please remove your card."

Hold it right there, Astroboy. My transaction is complete? Really? 'Cause I'm noticing a distinct lack of cash in my hands. Oh, I'm working on faith that you're going to give it to me, but to say that my transaction is complete is a bit premature of you, isn't it? I mean, come on. I would say that it's definitively incomplete until I've got the money.

Then there's the whole "Do you really know what you're asking?" problem. Thankfully I'm seeing a reduction in the following annoyance, but it's still out there. What is it? I'm thrilled that you asked.

I hate it when the bank machine (or ATM) misphrases its request for input regarding the desirability of another transaction (usually before the preceeding transaction has been truly completed, might I add ... see above).What is this offensive phrasology you ask? My, you are full of questions today, aren't you?

I hate it when the machine says:

"To complete another transaction, press: YES / NO"

What? Either way, I'll get to complete another transaction? I can choose YES or NO in order to proceed with this aforementioned new transaction? Sweet Vicki Lawson! Who writes the on-screen text for these things? Yikes.

And that's my random tirade for today. I trust you have all listened closely and felt somehow edified by the experience.

Z is for Zu Wah!

At long last, I've made it to the end of the infernal English alphabet! Yeesh. The pressure's finally off!

There were subjects which I fully expected to deal with (like Unnecessary Signage) that just fell by the wayside, but really, what does it matter? In the end, I just wanna hear a good beat.

Now the question will be, what on earth will I have to talk about? Life is crazy, hectic busy, but that's not the same as saying I have a lot to discuss.

"Gee...I'm doing more paperwork. Again. Seriously."

or

"Um ... I had another rehearsal."

or

"You know how about an hour after you kill a man, you start to think, 'Was the fondue fork really the way to go or was that just style without substance?'"

I'll do my best, people.

Y is for Years

It's astounding.

People, not old people, exactly, but people older than I, always said that the years fly faster the older you get.

They weren't kidding, were they? Yikes!

I recently received a pension update and realized that I'm more than a third of the way through my career, providing that the pension rules don't change (which they well may). On the upside, if I don't take any extended leaves of absence I'll be able to retire young enough to continue having fun for quite some time. Yahoo!

Still, an odd thought, to be thinking about retirement in fractions and about dates which at one point seemed so far away, but now seem relatively soon. Hmmm.

I just hope I can maintain the illusion of being young and lively between now and then. Heaven forbid people should actually figure out that I'm getting old!