Tuesday, July 21, 2009

The Ghost in the Machinery

The DVD player here operates according to a set of mysterious rules that I’m trying to define. Here’s what I’ve seemingly established to this point:

1. When loading a disc, the player will make a rather loud and intrusive mechanical noise through loading, any previews, and the home menu. The noise will stop once you move to an episode-specific menu (X-Files) or an episode itself (30 Rock).

2. When watching any episode after loading the disc certain rules appear to apply. With 30 Rock, this may or may not result in the subtitles being turned on upon initial viewing. With The X-Files, the subtitles will CERTAINLY be turned on to English. Once the subtitles are turned off, the episode will, for reasons unexplained, play without subtitles, but any on-screen text (such as locations and times) will also appear in French.

3. If an episode of The X-Files includes a deleted scene, accessed by clicking “select/ok/enter” on the remote when an X appears in the corner of the screen, and if this feature is turned on before viewing, then no subtitles will appear.

4. A second episode viewed without removing the disc will cancel out any odd subtitle behaviours.

Weird, weird, weird.

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