R is for Ridiculous Rambling

Okay, I'm sure it's a bit of a cop-out for a second post in a row to be primarily a video post, but after seeing this, I simply could not dismiss the call to share and comment.

Click HERE to watch a fascinating train-wreck of a response to a question posed to Miss South Carolina during the recent Miss Teen USA 2000 pageant.

Area of Concern Number One: The Question

Who thought up this ridiculous question? Yikes. Wait, that may not be entirely fair, since the response could have focused on ethnocentrism, or a need for greater global education in the American curriculum. But ... well ... it didn't.

Area of Concern Number Two:"US-Americans".

I'm not sure whether to shake my head at this curious distinction -- The United States is, after all, a "melting pot", is it not, made up of African-Americans, Asian-Americans, Latin-Americans, and US-Americans -- or whether to be impressed that she's being more specific than ... oh, say ... North Americans, of which Canadians and Mexicans are members.

Area of Concern Number Three: Map Shortage

Really? You've got to give her credit for exposing the Cartographic Drought which has swept across most of the western hemisphere in recent years. If only it were possible to put maps -- good, current, healthy, organic maps -- into the hands of more needy Americans, the problem of geographic shortcomings would be solved. The people cry out for maps! Why does the world not respond with compassion?

Area of Concern Number Four: The New Colonies

I get a bit confused in the middle there. How many states are there now? When did South Africa and Iraq become part of the US? At one point she seems to change her mind (maybe she received an up-to-the-minute map revision in which those two locations were declared NOT parts of the USA) and backpeddle a bit out of that little flub. Hey, at least she recognized it as a meandering flub ... sort of.

Area of Concern Number Five: Global Philanthropy

It's nice to see a young lady who wants to make a difference in the world and who believes that "our education over here, in the US, should help the US ["Pardon me, Freud, but your slip's showing!"] ... er, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for our children." Pardon me, Miss, but may we revisit the question ... ?

Area of Concern Number Six: Such As

This was, by far, the most creative use of "such as" that I've encountered on television. English is, by nature, a living language, ever in flux, and it is only by usage that it changes and grows. Maybe this usage, which may at first appear random, will finally put that tired old "et cetera" (or "ex cetera" as many children I know prefer, as did a certain university professor of mine) to rest!

Area of Concern Number Seven: The Health and Well-Being of Mario Lopez

Watch him closely as engages in an epic battle with himself and with a nearly heroic level of success attempts to resist the urge to laugh towards the end of her ... um ... statement. I think he may have burst something in the process. Has anyone checked up on him to make sure he's alright?

Area of Concern Number Eight: The Homecoming Queen

What happened when this young lady went back home or, even worse, returned to school? I'm guessing there were tears involved. Poor young lass. I hate to be mean, but my goodness, what a response that was.