Food Service Woes: The Continuing Saga

So, I go to the grocery store and I deal with Honey Girl.

I go to Subway and get stuck with Alternate Girl.

Today I went to Swiss Chalet for take out (long story which, in the end, led to "There's no way I'm going to go home and spend the time making something to eat; I have to eat NOW and I should avoid the McDonald's so, hey, the Swiss Chalet's right there across from McDonald's so why don't I go in there and grab something instead?")

And whom do I get to serve me? Inattentive Listener.

I sauntered up to the counter, waited a while ... and was finally approached by a young woman (who would later be identified as the aforementioned Inattentive Listener), who offered to take my order.

I ordered a Santa Fe chicken sandwich.

"With fries?"

"With a salad and a side of fries. And can I also get a dipping sauce?"

"Small or large?"

At this point I thought, "I had no idea it came in small and large," and so I said to the young woman (I still didn't realize it was Inattentive Listener) "I had no idea it came in small and large. I'm sure a small will be fine."

Then I asked, "And can I have a little tub [gesture with hands showing little tub] of the mesquite mayonnaise with that?"

"Sure."

And off goes the as-yet-unidentified Inattentive Listener to deal with life, love, and chicken.

After a ridiculously long wait, she finally brought my order and, for some unknown reason, I asked, "And there's a dipping sauce in there?"

"No. That doesn't come with the meal."

Mildly confused, I responded, "I know. I asked for it extra."

Now Inattentive Listener's telltale signs start emerging.

"You asked for extra mayo."

"Yes, I know, but I also asked for dipping sauce."

Now, at this point, the correct answer would have been, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I must have missed that." or even "Sorry, I misunderstood." Instead, I got:

"No you didn't."

So I responded, "I asked for both. I don't really care. I'll pay for it. I just want it for my fries." As she rang me up for my $0.41, I probably should have said, "Remember how you asked if I wanted small or large and I said, 'I had no idea it came in small and large'?" but for some reason -- probably my complete bafflement at this Inattentive Listener -- I didn't.

In any case, she brought me some dip and off I went.

It wasn't until I was home that I realized how Inattentive a Listener she really was. Useless really.

Scroll back up there in this tirade of a transcript and reread my initial exchange with the Inattentive Listener. Go ahead, I'll wait while you do.

*******

Okay, so did you notice that I asked for "...a little tub [gesture with hands showing little tub] of the mesquite mayonnaise with that?" Please note, also, that I did not ask for extra mayo on my sandwich. I did not even use the phrase extra mayo. No, I asked for "...a little tub [gesture with hands showing little tub] of the mesquite mayonnaise with that?" I do this EVERY TIME I EAT THIS MEAL, though if I'm in the restaurant, I ask for "...a little ramekin [gesture with hands showing little ramekin] of the mesquite mayonnaise with that?" because that's what they'd use if you're eating in. Why don't I just ask for extra mesquite mayo? Because I don't want extra mesquite mayo on my sandwich! I want to (and this is a little gross if you think too hard on it) dip my little corn chips in it. I don't know how that started.

You see where I'm going with this, right?

That's RIGHT! Inattentive Listener didn't pay attention to my very specific request for "...a little tub [gesture with hands showing little tub] of the mesquite mayonnaise with that?" and so I had no such little tub. Instead, I had a sandwich slathered in the stuff and nothing in which to dip my wee chips.

And that's why there should be an idiot screen for people going into food service.

Finally, and on a completely different subject, go here and have some fun!