X is for X-Rated

I know you're entirely intrigued by the title of this entry, so let's get straight to it.

I've been sitting on something for a little while now, not entirely sure that I wanted to broach the subject or deal with the topic at all, but have decided that it's better to throw it all out there and choose to have a good laugh at it rather than give more power to things out of our control than they deserve, so here goes.

About a month ago, a friend of mine e-mailed me with a bit of a curious inquiry. It seems that someone looking suspiciously like me had turned up on a site of candid photos. Candid photos taken in a locker room. Candid photos taken of individuals who were unclothed whilst in a locker room.

Of course, I laughed it off and replied that, no, I was not on any such site.

Then I was sent the URL for the site and told to check for myself. Being a bit amused by the prospects of being an international celebrity, I went ahead and looked.

There, about three-quarters of the way down the page, was the individual in question, a short series of photos in a shower room.

Indeed, that individual did look rather suspicisouly like me. That individual shared certain scars from certain operations which seemed rather suspiciously like mine. That's when I started to look at the surroundings as well, and realized that the area in which this individual was taking his innocent yet secretly observed shower was strikingly similar to a gym which I once attended shortly after having surgeries on my hands. A gym not far from where I live.

I was struck by a multitude of emotions. #1: What the heck was someone doing spreading pictures of ... um ... someone so similar to me on the internet? #2: WHY would the general be interested in pictures of ... um ... someone so similar to me in the buff? #3: How oblivious does one need to be to have photos taken without being aware of it? I mean, these were no blurry camera-phone shots, the discolouration of scar tissue was quite clear in a couple of them!

Needless to say, whatever the raging emotions, I was disctinctly annoyed and, after taking a few days to gear up some nerve to discuss such an unpleasant topic, went to speak with the gym's management. Basically, I was told that there's a policy against photography in any part of the gym (duh), but that it was virtually impossible to enforce short of installing surveillance cameras, which would somewhat defeat the purpose of eliminating photography. (An unpleasant but fairly logical truth.) They said that in the few years since the photos must have been taken, circulation of gym staff through all areas of the gym has been increased in order to reduce the opportunity for breaches of privacy. (I guess that having staff roam in and out of the rooms where people are wandering about naked is better than having pervs wandering in and out taking permanent records of it.) Suffice it to say that the end result is "well, them's the breaks".

In truth, how many people do I know who are going to stumble upon pictures of someone who ... um ... resembles me in such a state? Not many. I'll survive, I'm sure.

Of course, none of that was true. I didn't really have anything to write for the topic letter X, so I thought I'd give you something interesting to read. Let's be honest, though, some of you have been rather intrigued by the whole prospect of my being involved in something so off-the-wall. I might have even been somehow raised in your esteem if I had been photographed nude at the gym! Of course, if you enjoyed that, I've got a GREAT story to tell you about some birds...